HOMEWORK

Sociology is driving me crazy. hehe. I hope I will finish it on time.
I already gave up doing maths... for now. It's too hard. As for literature, I keep falling asleep reading Mill on the Floss. I hope I won't fall asleep again tonight.
I can't wait for dayah to come home this weekend. :-)

Titles... Wehee!

Thanks to Zaty, I can now have titles for each and every post and all my blog readers can leave their comments after each and every post!

Thanks Zaty, love ya hun!

Next week, you me, DS.

If you don't like me or the things I write, do not waste your time reading my blog.

"I WILL CLIMB MOUNTAINS FOR YOU..."

If you are a loyal reader of my blog, you should already know that Hidayah is my bestfriend and we are very close and inseparable. So anyway, I called her today and we had another one of those "what's the latest hot gossip" talk. She told me about a guy I know from KMJ who used to like me a lot. She said that the guy is trying to hit on her friend. He sends her text messages everyday, and eventhough she ignored all of them, he is still not giving up. At first, he used a fake identity, saying that he was from Uitm, but today he actually revealed the real him, and yes, it is the SAME guy who did the same thing when he liked me. (I guess he doesn't like me anymore) I had a feeling it was him when Dayah told me about it last week, because of the unique way he writes his messages. He always adds "Huh?" at the end of almost every message. I am writing this not because I have feelings for this guy, but because I want to prove my theory about guys is right. Guys tell you what you want to hear. They will climb mountains for you and you will think, "wow, this guy is the ONE for me". And after you go out with him for 2 months, he leaves you for another girl. It is always the same story.

Do you want to know what this guy used to tell me? (you don't have to read if your answer is no)

Well, first I have to tell you how I knew him. Well, it was like this : One day, I received a message from "this guy" asking if I was from Tijb (my old school) . I didn't bother to reply that text because I didn't think it was important. I received the same message the next day and the next until he practically "forced" me to reply. I then replied saying that I do not like to reply messages from strangers and asked him to introduce himself. After he told me who he is, I smiled because he was sort of in my class. So, we began to get to know each other a bit (I already had a boyfriend at that time) but I thought there was nothing wrong with making a new friend. We started hanging out at the bench by the tennis court. I already knew he has a girlfriend but I didn't tell him about Wan. I knew I was doing something wrong but I did it anyway. When I told this guy that I was quitting KMJ, he told me about his feelings for me, and then I decided to tell him about Wan. He was frustrated and said he would "wait" for me. He even "broke up" with his girlfriend for "me". I told him not to put his hopes up too high because I never promised him anything. After I quitted KMJ, we still kept in touch for a week or so. I think he started to grew bored "waiting" for me. A few months later he got back with his girlfriend. I knew I made the right decision to stay with Wan. The story of how I knew Wan is totally different, Wan never said things like, "I like u so much, I'm going to wait for you". When we were getting no know each other, he didn't have any current girlfriends. We both were single and I didn't feel guilty for going out with him.

Oh, remember the Zack guy? The one I took a walk with at the beach when I was in Langkawi? The one who said "he's in love" after just spending 20 minutes with me? The one who asked me to think about it. The one who said "I'll wait for you because I love you so much". Well, I can bet that he's tired of waiting already. He doesn't send me messages as often as he used to anymore. I think he finally realised that it's hopeless to wait for someone's girlfriend.

So, guys out there, I'm begging you to stop doing this to us! Never ever say things like "I'll wait for you" and blah blah blah. It doesn't work anymore. If you really do like someone, get to know her first, spend your time with her and only tell her things after you are really sure that you will not regret what you say.

You know what I love about Wan? The first time we started getting to know each other, (we were having lunch with another friend) he was paying so much attention to the things I say. The little-not-important things, like my favourite drink, my future plans, the things that shouldn't matter to him if he wasn't interested in me. He listened and he remembered. I was shocked when he bought me two milo canned drinks after we went jogging because I told him a few days before that I was addicted to milo. He also remembered precisely about my thoughts on rich people and stuff. If I had ask the other friend who was with us at that time to repeat whatever I had said, I bet all that can come out from his mouth is .. "ha?". I can also bet that those two guys who told me they were/are in love with me, know absolutely nothing about me.

So, my point is, please try to get to know the other person first, before you tell her things that will make her confuse and stay away from other people's girlfriend/boyfriend.

Thank you.

Now, what do I hope for 2006?

Actually, I only have one important goal that I want to achieve for 2006. I will only find out if I have achieve this goal at the end of 2006. It's very important and it involves my future. If I do not achieve this goal, my whole life will be ruined. I will constantly be reminded of my failure every single day of my life until the day I die. I will hurt the people I love if I do not achieve this. Time and money will be wasted and there is no way to get it back. The damage will be so severe that suicide can happen. (Okay, that one was a bit too far)

What is it, you ask?

I want to get that 15 points and continue my studies overseas, and make everybody proud.

Sounds easy? Well, it's not. Unless I work really hard and spend all my time studying, then maybe it's possible.

And why is it that I say it involves my future?

Because if I fail my Alevel, there is no way that I can continue my studies overseas, and I have no money to pay Mara back all the money they spent. I have no qualifications to do my degree locally, because to do that, you have to go through 1 year of matriculation and get atleast a 2.5 gpa to get accepted into University. Yes, I can still do my Diploma, but that means I'm going to be left behind and all my friends will graduate first. I cannot let that happen.
To make it worse, everyone is going to talk behind my back, and laugh at me. I will be called "the girl who didn't make it" etc etc. That cannot happen to me.
I will dissapoint my parents, my teachers, my friends and also MYSELF. I will not let that happen.

Please pray for my success.

Good Bye 2005, HELLO 2006!

Okay, this is just a post on my 2005 happenings.

January-March 2005
I just finished my SPM so I spent most of my time at home or at driving school. I got my driving licence in March 2005 after taking my JPJ test twice. (I'm just not born to drive)

March-May
Well, my SPM results came out around March I think? I got 6A's, which is just "okay". I was accepted to KMJ. I was also called for two different interviews (same course). My first interview was on 3rd of May and the second one was on the 5th of May. I registered for KMJ and did accounting while waiting for other better offers. Oh, I also met Wan and we went steady in May.

June-July
I got an offer from both Mara and BPG. I decided to go with Mara, so I quitted KMJ to do Tesl in Kolej Mara Seremban instead.
My sister got married. (end of July)
My brother came home for summer.

July-December
My first semester in Kolej Mara Seremban. (Finished)

Not that interesting huh? Well, I never said it was.

Everytime I log into my blogspot account, I will spend a lot of time just to find something smart to talk about. All my past entries are what you can call "rubbish". I've never talked about interesting/important stuff because my head is just empty. I cannot come up with anything good and worth reading. I do not read that much anymore, and I am not up-to-date with what's happening around the world, and my english is getting worse. I used to love writing essays, and I used to keep a diary/journal but not anymore. I have no idea why I stopped writing...

I seriously have to read more (and write more). You know how sometimes you think of a great story in your head that you just have to write in on paper, but when you've gone through all the trouble getting the paper, and finding a pen (with ink), the story just disappear? and sometimes you are half-way writing it and then you get tired and just stop? and you decide to write it another time but you never did. These two situation always happen to me. I'm just too lazy which is not good because i'm supposed to be a future english teacher and if my english does not improve in the next 6 years, well, i feel sorry for my future students. I'm going to be responsible if my future students fail their english.

I always thought my english was good (beyond good) until i went to KMS. I met a lot of friends who speak and write better than me. There are some who are worse than me but that's their problem not mine. I'm very concerned about my english right now. I have improved a tiny bit after mixing with these people (people who speak/write better than me) but it's not enough. I want to be able to write using "big" words, and speak without adding "lah" at the end of every sentence.

It's kind of funny that I'm a Tesl student, but my english is just average. This is so embarassing.

I have to go read a book.
Later

Oh, Happy New Year

Taken just a few hours ago......


the one on the left loves the one on the right...



...and she is missing him so bad right now...



...from up above

...Wan is leaving in less than one hour... This is so hard for me... I'm so used to having him so close, and now he won't be that close anymore. I knew that this day would come sooner or later but I was never really prepared for it. I sort of let myself believe that he would always be here, and that I could come back to see him anytime I want...

There are a few things that I wish I had said and done. I wish I had told him more often how much he means to me, and how much I love him. I wish I had never hurt his feelings.

I miss you so much.
I love you.

Take care dear.

I didn't do much today.
I watched TV the whole afternoon. Nana followed dad to his office so I was at home, alone. Mum went to Desaru this evening and will be back tomorrow afternoon. Sis took me out to dinner at SS just now. ;-) Oh, and Wan took me around JB in the evening cause we were so bored.

You know that stage where when you are with someone you love, that silence doesn't bother you anymore? You feel comfortable being with that other person without having to say anything. You look at him, he looks at you. You smile, he smiles back ; and you both just sort of enjoy each other's company.

Well, Wan and I are sort of at that stage. Sometimes we don't talk at all. Just having him next to me is enough. I can just look at him and sort of know what he wants to say to me. I know it's only been 8 months but that's just how I feel when I'm around him. When he takes me for a drive around the city, or for a walk at the park, we barely talk about anything. I enjoy holding his hand and look at the beautiful view from the hills at the park, and having him next to me makes it extra special and extra beautiful.

No, we are not a boring couple. We share everything together. Sometimes, we both have so much to talk about that we could barely understand what the other is trying to say. (because both wanted to speak at the same time) and in the end, one had to say, "takpelah, u cakap dulu.." hehehe.

I'm glad I found him. I changed a lot after I met him. (Good changes)
Thanks dear
;-)

Love ya!