Why is it so hard to let go of the past?

Why do bad things always happen to me?

So this is what happened.
Sha called me this morning and asked if I have received the email from Unicomm regarding my accommodation in NZ for February 2008. I was in front of my laptop so I checked if there was any email from them. Sadly, there wasn't. Not even one. Not even to inform me that I am in the waiting list. I was already disappointed (but not that worried) but then Sha said that everyone else has received theirs. I was so panic when she said that so I emailed Mr Matt Rogers (the person in charge of this whole accommodation thing). I couldn't bear waiting for his reply so I decided to call him instead.

Alhamdulillah, after giving him my details, he informed me that my application has been accepted and I should have received the email from Unicomm. So to cut a long story short, he gave me this email and asked me to send this person an email and ask them to send the accommodation offer again. :) I have to pay them before this 30th of Oct so I hope I get the email soon!

Oh I thought the time in New Zealand is only about 3 hours difference from Malaysia! It's not! No wonder they did not pick up the phone! When I checked the time in NZ, it was already 5.42 pm! Mana ada orang kat ofis la iqa! Haiyoh! The last person I called kat Unicomm cakap macam ni "please call back tomorrow". Haha! Mesti the person marah gile time die nak balik ofis sibuk pulak nak call... hehe. Nasib baik sempat call Matt Rogers! and nasib baik I can understand their english! HAHAHA. ntah ape ape je iqa!

Thank you Zaty and Sha for the help :) LOVE you girls la!

Bace and view from bottom keatas *kes malas nak susun*

Sorry for not updating, I was in Perak since Thursday and celebrated our raya there. I have loads to write about but I just do not have the energy to do it so I'll just post some pictures. Enjoy!

Selamat Hari Raya
Maaf Zahir dan Batin

Berbuka with my sisters :)

Body Mass Index

Current weight :
14o.8 lbs

Height:
5 ft 03 inch

BMI : 26.6

BMI Categories:

• Underweight = <18.5
• Normal weight = 18.5-24.9
• Overweight = 25-29.9
• Obesity = BMI of 30 or greater

I am currently in the overweight category. I have to lose about 10 pounds to get into the normal category. Wish me luck!

Pro-Ana? Maybe

I saw "The Thin Club" on DH&H the other day and boy am I interested! YES I KNOW IT IS UNHEALTHY to lose weight that way but I think it really works! It's not that hard, I think. There is this one girl, she started at 106 lbs in the beginning of the show and at the end, she was only 98 lbs! She was soooo skinny! I am not planning to be that skinny but if pro-ana really works, then why not, right? I mean, I've tried exercising and eating right but to no avail. I think I sort of have done this pro-ana thing back when I was 14 and I did lose a lot of weight. I went from a size L to a size Xs! The thing about not eating is, once you get used to it, you won't even feel hungry! That is what I remembered when I kind of stopped eating back then. It's amazing how much weight you can lose in less than a year! It would be nice to be small again...especially when you're 20 and people are paying so much attention on how you look!

I think I'm going to cut back on my eating and see if it works for me! But I'm going to throw in some exercises everyday to speed up the process. :)

Oh, I am not going to totally follow this pro-ana thing. I'm just going to take some things that work and leave out things that might do me harm.

Oh I found the girl from the show, here she is!

Sabrina

Sabrina is a fun, sporty and active 16 year old living with her parents in Lincolnshire. She has always been slim but has been using pro-anorexia sites for four months to help her lose a lot of weight quickly.

Like many girls she's ultra-conscious about her figure. She's had a history of dieting but not anorexia. She diets alongside online friends and posts daily in her online journal with updates of her weight loss.

She admits that the majority of girls on the pro-ana sites have a higher BMI (body mass index) than her but finds the sites helpful with her extreme weight loss goals. She feels the girls on it are 'really supportive and lovely'.

Her first goal was to get from 106lbs (7st 8lbs) to 102lbs (7st 4lbs) for her prom and she looks forward to her next goal of 98lbs (7st) for her GCSE results.

Pro-ana sites seem to be making her weight loss obsession more extreme – she is now picking up tips from the sites on ways to avoid eating.

(http://www.channel4learning.net/support/programmenotes/micro/thinclub/sabrina.html)

Some info on pro-ana:

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pro-ana

After looking at some pro-ana sites, I have to admit that there is more bad to it than good. BUT, I am still going to eat less because being an emotional eater than I am now is ALSO unhealthy. It is better to be thin and live up to society's expectations than to be a fat emotional eater! At least by being thin, people accept you more than when you are fat and ugly.

I think this website is quite helpful,

http://www.angelfire.com/indie/thininstead/

I need to lose weight so that my hair will match my face :) I have thin hair thus I need a thin face.

I am 3 months away from my summer school in Langkawi :) Sometimes I feel like I cannot wait to go and study again :) Other times I wish my holiday could be longer. I haven't actually done anything "productive" for the past 4 months and I am not proud of it. I've only read about 3 books out of about 6 books that I was so eager to read before my long holiday. I didn't buy all the Hot magazine that I told my friends I would buy. I did go for a trip around Malaysia with my Darlings on my second month of holiday ( one of the few things that I wish I can do again soon ). Oh and yesterday, I did something to my hair, which I think is worth it since my hair needed the fixing anyway. I've also installed The Sims 2 plus the expansion packs so now I am addicted to the game. I try not to play so much though, because my mum said it'll be a bad influence to my lil Sis who will be sitting for her UPSR next year ( I agree ). Oh and I haven't finish GW season 1 yet ( I blame the Sims 2!!! )

And other that helping my mum out with a little bit of housework (she still does most of the work) and all of the above, I think I pretty much wasted my holiday. Weehee!

:)

Have you ever feel that the further you are from your loved ones the more you feel needed and loved? But when you're around they never seem to notice you that much? Well, I have.

Later

Facebook no more

I have officially deactivated my facebook account! after a few weeks of using it, i just don't find it interesting anymore. i'm sticking to my friendster account. I know it is not as fun as facebook, but all my friends are there. oh and kb, don't worry, I have your number and I read your blog, so we'll always be in contact :)

MY 20th!

My birthday was nice :) I spent the day with Wan, shopping. He bought me a pair of skinny jeans that I chose myself as a birthday present :) Thank you yang! I was actually quite surprised when he asked me if I wanted the jeans because it's very rare of him to do that, but since it was my birthday, and after a few more rounds at the other stores, I decided to get the jeans. We went back to the store and he bought it for me! Now I need to go and alter the length because it is too long! :( I wanted to alter it at the store itself but the girl there says we need to wait for another two days and pay an extra RM5. I was too excited about the jeans that I cannot bear the thought of leaving it there for another two days! and besides, nobody at home is going to be free this week to take me to the store to get my jeans :( I also bought myself two new t-shirts :)

Around 5.30 pm we made our way to Damai for our break fast. We had to go there early since it would take us at least half an hour (without the traffic jam) to get there from Tebrau City mall. Another reason is because we haven't ordered anything yet (but we have booked) , so we had to get there early anyway.

After break fast, he sent me home. We had to end the date early because he was going back to Shah Alam that night, and since he was going to drive, I didn't want him to drive so late.

It really was a lovely day for both of us and I miss him dearly right now! He's going to be busy this week with tests and assignments... so no Wan this week I guess :( But it's okay, he's coming back on the 8th! Cannot wait :)

I can't believe it's been almost 3 years already :) It's the third time we celebrated both our birthdays together and it's going to be the third time we're going to celebrate Hari Raya together too :)

Selamat Berpuasa and becoming Raya! :) Have a nice day people!