I woke up quite late today, at 11.07 am. haha. I took a shower right after I got up and now here I am writing this. Hmm, I'm actually waiting for a call or text from a friend about our plans to watch 'tentang dia' today. Come on come on where are you? hehehehehe.

Later

Hey...I just realised something... I don't cry myself to sleep anymore. I don't think of him that much anymore. I wake up, and he's not the first thing I think about, and when I go to sleep, I just sleep. I think I'm ready to let him go now.

Maybe in a few days, I can forget him for good?

I'm going to watch 'Tentang Dia' tomorrow with a friend. I'll be going to Melaka on Sunday and then off to KL on Monday.

Hmm..what else what else? I was supposed to go jogging yesterday but it was raining so heavily. :( I picked up mom from work, picked up nana from school, went home, ate, watched TV, had dinner, and then watched TV again, and then went to sleep.
Not a very interesting day but it was okay.

I think that's all for now. It's still early anyway.
Later.

Is it wrong to love someone but feel happy when you're with someone else? It's not that you don't love that person anymore, it's just that there is someone else who cares about you more. Is it wrong to feel like you want to see the other person and talk to him every single hour of the day? The person that you love is never there for you, but there is someone else who cares for you and makes you feel good all the time. So, is it wrong for me to feel this way? I'm not saying I have feelings for the other person, but I just feel happy when I'm around him. I'm still deeply in love with the first person, but nothing I do can make him happy anymore. So, should I stay?

I got this quote someone else's blog:

"What good is a heart if you're not gonna use it....What good is a love if you're not gonna choose it?"

Have you ever had someone you care about so much and then one day you wake up to realise that the person is gone? Well, he/she is still there, but he/she is not the same anymore. When you look at him/her, you don't feel those feelings you used to feel- excitement,loved,appreciated,happy,fun,on top of the world. It's kind of sad you know, you feel like you've lost one part of you.

He/She used to make me happy, he/she used to be the reason for me to smile. I look forward to wake up each day because I know it will be another good day for me because I have him/her. Well, not anymore. I do care for him/her, and still love him/her more than ever, but I hate feeling like he/she doesn't care and doesn't love me like he/she used to. I've been crying a lot, and I hate that too. I hate feeling sad, I hate when he/she hurts my feeling without even realising it. I need the old him/her back. The one who used to be so loving and caring. The one who used to be so excited to see me and spend time with me. He/she is gone now. I can't find that person anymore. Now, when I'm with him/her, I see a different person. I can feel that we no longer agree in a lot of things, and we rarely talk anymore. I can feel that this friendship is going no where, and I'm really scared to lose him/her. I need him/her back. I really do. I miss the old him/her. Hmm. Sometimes I wish I could erase him/her from my life, so that I won't feel sad anymore. It's either I have the old him/her back, or never had him/her at all. Too much memories, it's too painful...can't take it anymore. Sick of crying and feeling miserable...

"A few questions that I need to know, how you could ever hurt me so? I need to know what I've done wrong, and how long it's been going on? Was it that I never paid enough attention? Or did I not give enough affection? Not only will your answers keep me sane, but I'll know never to make the same mistakes again. You can tell me to my face, or even on the phone. You can write it in a letter, either way, I have to know. Did I never treat you right? Did I always start the fight? Either way, I'm going out of my mind, all the answers to my question, I have to find..."

*A Picture Of Moi*

There is this girl that I'm really pissed off about. Well, she wrote a bulletin board in friendster and she was like "making fun" of those who want to be a teacher. I don't know what's her problem. She was like "hahahaha padan muka". I personally think that she is jealous that we KNOW what we want to do with our FUTURE and she is still figuring out her life. There is absolutely nothing wrong of wanting to be a teacher. She should really think about what she said and how many feelings she hurt. I wanted to post back what she wrote but I don't want to embarass her. I just want her to know that what she did...was VERY MEAN.

It's like almost 4 am in the morning and I just spent the last 3 hours talking to a friend on the phone. It's kind of nice you know, to have someone to talk to... to that person, thanks yah! you really cheered me up.

Okay, so I had a long day today. (well, yesterday) I went to see "Guess Who" with epul. The movie's very hilarious. I needed some laughs. I guess I picked the right movie today. After that we had lunch at season and then went to Metrojaya because I needed to buy a few things.

I'm kind of tired right now. Maybe I will write more later.
Good night! (or morning)

Oh yeah, I changed the song. Enjoy!

A pen...a piece of paper...300 words...me...hands not moving...can't think...of interesting things to write...need to complete it soon...help

Anyways, I'm not that excited about KMJ. Yes-I will have Hidayah with me there but this is THE FIRST TIME I'm leaving home. I know Tangkak is not that far but still...Home is always the place where I feel safe. I'm going to miss my GREEN ROOM, I'm going to miss MY VERY COMFORTABLE BED, I'm going to miss MY OWN TOILET, will miss the 24-hours of INTERNET CONNECTION, and WEBCAM-ming with FRIENDS in the MIDDLE OF THE NIGHT, going to miss THE TELEPHONE, surely will miss ASTRO and my favourite TV SHOWS. I'm sure going to MUM'S COOKING. I'm going to miss EPUL, we won't be seeing each other that much after this, or maybe not at all? I'm going to miss MY FAMILY... I'm going to miss having Dad around to help me with stuff, will miss talking to Mum from the window of my room while she's ironing clothes, miss fighting with Nana, miss going shopping or jogging with big sis, miss seeing Abg Ipin around the house, miss chatting with Abang in Paris. Ahhh. now I feel like crying. I'm going to miss my life for 17 years at home.

Eh, should I bring Memel with me? Atleast I have a tiny piece of home with me at KMJ...hehehehe.

(In case you are wondering what/who Memel is...)


bye bye bed.

I'm having troubles searching for ideas on what to write lately. I can't think of anything important or meaningful to write.
I'm tired.
There's just so much to do...and so little time.