Future Doctor + Future Teacher = ?

do not date a future doctor/ doctor if you are not ready to be neglected.

i am the kind of person who loves attention, especially from people I love. I'm not saying the person has to message me or call me all the time but atleast try to show some effort that he/she is interested in me and cares about me. A simple "I miss you" or "how was your day?" would do. Is that too much to ask?

Future Doctor thought I would understand if he does not message me or call me for days because "he will always love me and think of me". Well, how would I know when I am at home, bored with nothing to do, and wondering what he's doing at the other part of the country?
I am a person who talks a lot, and I need someone who can listen to me. Being with Future Doctor does not allow me to do much talking. He's always not available, and his family needs him. I'm not trying to be selfish, I just want to know that he really is interested.

The best thing about the first stages of a relationship is the GET TO KNOW EACH OTHER part. The part where you just want to know more about the other person and learn about his likes and dislikes. But as for right now, I probably know about 10% of Future Doctor, and it seems like I won't be going through that much "getting to know" Future Doctor. Future Doctor is a nice person, and quite naive, i must say. I don't think he knows the basics on being in a relationship.

Future Doctor was very upset when I told him I didn't feel special. He said I should know by now that even if he does not call me, he still loves me.
And then he started talking very very fast until he ran out of breath. Suddenly, he accidently said something he shouldn't have said. The Future Doctor said he lied to me a few times by saying things I want to hear, rather than telling me the truth. I was surprised and I asked him, when did you lie to me? And then he told me everything. I was stunned and I said, "Wow, what a way to start a relationship" and then I said bye and hung up.

I am quite upset when I knew he lied about some things. I know it's a small thing but if I can't even trust him now, imagine how disasterous our relationship is going to be. (I don't think there is going to be one anymore)

I'm sorry, I have my own reasons for this.
Future Doctor and I are not very compatible.

One is cold and quite, the other is loud and crazy.

I will shut my mouth from now on.
I will try not to talk so much.

I am so bored so i decided to waste my time surfing the internet. heheh

oh ya,
i've seen my real grades ( the components that made up the final score )
it was... quite surprising.

For literature:
i got a C for paper 3 and another C for paper 4 = so the overall grade is a C

For maths:
I got a B for Pure math 1 and a C for statistic 1 = so the overall grade is a B

For Sociology: (ohh this is the best part)
I managed to get an A for paper 2, but... a big fat D for paper 1, so the overall grade is a B

Before I tell you my overall points, let me explain how we count the points.

A=5 points
B=4 points
C=3 points
D=2 points and so on...

So, as for my final points, i get a 4+4+3 = which makes it 11.
and the good news is, 11 is already enough to pass :)
yeay

Just got back from a trip to Pusat Sains Negara! :) There was a Talk about "Career in Education"... it was actually for our Tesl juniors but since there were about 20 empty spaces left, my friends and I decided to join them. Besides, our teachers were okay with us skipping school. hehe.
The talk was quite okay, the food was delicious, and I definitely had a great time!
took a lot of pictures...
bought some stuff from the souvenir shop.

:)
will write more soon
my tummy isn't feeling very well today
hehe
later

Abang nak balik France
huaaaaa
:(

IELTS

the IELTS results are out. and i passed! I got a band 7.5 which is quite okay i guess. The passing band for TESL is 7.0. As for right now, I am feeling quite happy and satisfied with what i have achieved. I have no regrets at all because I know I deserve the band given and if i want a higher band, that means more hard work.

You see, success does not come easily. You have to work hard for it and put extra effort. I realised that I will not get anywhere if I continue with what I am doing now. I need to read more, like I used to when I was still in school. My teacher said that if you read a lot, you can improve 1 band in six week. Her explanation made sense to me. She also mentioned about good writers being good readers, which I find to be true. When I was in form 4-5, I used to write phrases/ quotes that I read from books into my essays. It did help a lot, and I never had any problems understanding English language.

After I finished school, my passion for reading slowly decreased. It's already August and I think I only managed to finish one book this year. I just did not have the time to really sit, read and indulge in the book. This whole thing has taken a toll on my english too. I think my english is getting worse, written or spoken. I get confused with the tenses and sometimes the words just won't come out.

So, starting from today, I will try to read as much books as possible. Hopefully, I can raise my band up to the highest level. :)

here i am, sitting at the school's computer lab, IN AN ALMOST EGYPTIAN COSTUME, looking like an idiot. So far, my classmates and i have been getting a lot of stares from people around college. Some gave positive comments, others were just confused.
As for me, i just can't wait to get out of this costume...it's hot, and uncomfortable.

on being alone

here's the latest news

I am officially single

I've been thinking about ending the relationship for quite a while, i just never really had the guts to do it. I really made my decision on friday, but i told him on saturday night because i was having my IELTS exam at the time and i didn't want anything to distract me.

He took it really well and we're still okay now... I know it will never be the same because he's not there somewhere in the picture anymore. I've been handling it quite well, I suppose. No heavy tears, yet.

There are moments where I do regret my decision but I know that this is the best for me and my studies.

We never really had any huge problems in our relationship, things were fine. Before I told him the news, we were happily sms-ing each other. But I knew I had to do it sooner or later. The main reason is- my studies. I can't afford to jeopardise my future for a relationship that i, myself, am not sure of. I love him with all my heart and he's been nice to me, but having to handle Alevels and Him at the same time is too much. I need to make sure my future is secured and then maybe I will start thinking of being in a relationship again. I do not want to be the reason of us both failing in our exams. He has things he needs to do first before really thinking of being with me (or someone else) and I have my Alevels to pass and InsyaAllah further my studies in NZ.

I've been thinking of the promise I made to my dad about a year ago... I promised him that I will put aside everything else and focus on my studies and make him proud of me. I feel so guilty and sad that none of what I said came true. I never did get anything higher than 8 points, and I went and have a boyfriend.

I blame everything on myself. Not only did i disappoint my parents, I also broke his heart.

My results are coming out in two weeks. please pray that it will not be too bad... there is still time for me to correct all the wrongs.

to my parents: I will try to make you guys proud of me

to wan: thank u for understanding. if it is destined for us to be together, we will. all the best in everything that you do.

ok, so i had my speaking test today.
it was- hmm... it was okay i guess but made a lot of grammar mistakes!
there was this one time that i accidently said "ape tu..." hahaha.
what's done is done... i just hope and pray that i will get atleast a band 7. I need atleast a band 7 to qualify for my course... please pray for me too, okay?

the first part was quite okay because it was just basically about me- my name, where i come from etc etc... the second part...pheww...i'm just so grateful i did not go blank :) the examiner asked me to tell about an old place that is important in my country's history (something like that, can't remember her exact question) and the only place that came into this empty head of mine was "kelly's castle". I'm kind of amazed that i could talk about a historical building that i am not even familiar with! i went on and on and she just smiled at me ( she's a mat salleh btw )

and there were also questions about numbers, gardens... all in all, it was tough but i managed to finish it. ALHAMDULILLAH

so now i have to prepare for tomorrow's listening, reading, and writing test :) wish me luck okay?

I just realised one thing after reading my past entries,

I used to have a lot more money back when i was single